But then, poor Todd Palin would be condemned to celibacy

Alaska's legislators have noticed that they've never gotten around to criminalizing bestiality. I'm not quite sure how the word for "acting beastlike" got narrowed to "having sex across-species," which doesn't seem to be a characteristic of most beasts, but then the animals don't get to write the dictionaries.

Ronnie Rosenberg, the Fairbanks commission's chairwoman, told the State Affairs Commission on Monday that people who work or regularly volunteer at shelters are bound to eventually care for an animal that has been sexually abused by a person. In Fairbanks, an active duty soldier last summer was accused of sodomizing a dachshund that eventually needed medical care and Rosenberg said a more recent case has emerged involving a puppy.

Note the winning emphasis on "child" animals. And a dachshund? Medical attention or not, what kind of penile inadequacy is one confessing to by trying to fuck a dachshund?