Driving while, ... er ... well here, you'd better read the whole thing

I'm with Chait: this is actually some pretty impressive driving, at least right up to the collision.

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph 13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

And as the source asks, what about paragraph 11? Must've been something REALLY bad. But I dunno. If you've pleaded the defendant into the backseat, your claim that he was driving begins to look a bit iffy.