I thought those gummi bears looked possessed, all right

Gary Farber notices kooks being kooks:

In a column on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s Web site, writer Kimberly Daniels asserts that “demons” sneak into bags of Halloween candy at grocery stores.

“[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches,” Daniels wrote. “I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”

I could believe the occasional stale bag is the result of demonic interference, but "most"? How many witches are employed in this function? Is it seasonal, or year-round? Because my kid may have to check out this potential career.

Daniels asserts that far from being harmless fun, Halloween is a veritable doorway to hell, full of literal monsters.

“Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats,” she wrote. “It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.”

As opposed to addicted to drinking Bud and howling at the moon, which is simply part of the college experience.

... Farber also notes, with ample commentary, the Rev. Mark Grizzard, who with all 14 members of his congregation held a Bible-burning. Not *real* Bibles of course. No, Satanic profanations of the Holy Word, such as "NIV, RSV, NKJV, TLB, NASB, NEV, NRSV," etc. ... which are all "perversions of ..."

... wait for it ...

... "God's word the King James Bible."

Could they not find some scriptures in the original Greek and Hebrew to add to the flames?

They also burned every kind of music except, to judge by their omission, classical and outright hymns (tho "Southern gospel" is Satanic). And books by heretics such as Rick Warren, Billy Graham, and Bruce Metzger. And "Westcott & Hort." Who? The guys who produced what appears to be a standard critical text of the Greek New Testament. Jack Chick is vewy mad!

... Okay, this stuff is too fascinating for a work day. Peter Ruckman, an Independent Baptist, argued the KJV was superior to the Textus Receptus:

For instance, in his Christian's Handbook of Manuscript Evidence, Ruckman says, "Mistakes in the A.V. 1611 are advanced revelation!"

Cf. Stephen Dedalus: an artist's errors are "volitional and are portals of discovery."

Ruckman also believes that the Septuagint was a hoax created by the Alexandrian cult in the 3rd century A.D. in order to subvert belief in the integrity of the Bible.

Which is why Paul quotes it so often. -- Or seems to quote it!

OTOH, anyone who calls Bob Jones University "the world's most unusual hell hole" cannot be completely devoid of good sense.