Thursday, February 02, 2012

But if you adopt your girlfriend, is it then illegal to sleep with her? - UPDATED

This story totally misses the really important question.
A wealthy Florida polo club founder has adopted his longtime adult girlfriend in what attorneys believe may be a legal maneuver to protect his financial assets as he faces a trial for a drunk driving incident that killed a 23-year-old.

John Goodman, 48, formally adopted Heather Laruso Hutchins, 42, in October 2011. The couple started dating in 2009. Goodman is the founder of the International Polo Club Palm Beach in Wellington, Fla.

West Palm Beach Judge Glenn Kelley wrote in a court order that the twists in the case "border on the surreal and take the Court into a legal twilight zone."

"The Defendant has effectively diverted a significant portion of the assets of the children's trust to a person with whom he is intimately involved at a time when his personal assets are largely at risk in this case," the judge wrote.
Okay, but is it incest?

... Ah, leave it to Slate to catch this issue. Plus bonus lesbian action!


  1. Apparently not in Florida:

    "Whoever knowingly marries or has sexual intercourse with a person to whom he or she is related by lineal consanguinity, or a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, or niece, commits incest ...." Florida Statutes, Title XLVI, Sec. 826.04

    Since adopted children aren't (usually) related by "lineal" consanguinity (although that is the case with grandparent adoptions), it's not incest. , 1 So.3d 331 (Fla.App. 5 Dist. 2009), which addresses this exact situation (sex with unrelated adopted daughter).

    But it is creepy.

  2. The case citation is to Beam v. State, 1 So. 3d 331 (Fla.App. 5th Dist. 2009. Apparently italicizing doesn't work on blogspot.

  3. I have serious question whether he can mulct his actual children's stake in their trust with this stratagem, assuming there are actual children.

  4. Good question NMC. Tho I'm reminded of the Roman practice of adopting whomever one wished to benefit - the most famous example being Caesar's adopting Octavian, and in his will no less. Adopting and un-adopting was pretty common. Tho Goodman's attorney had better look for more recent precedents.

    ... Thanks, SOMS! Now I have to decide which is creepier: adopting my girlfriend, or sleeping with the doctor who delivered me. Okay, maybe I don't actually *have* to decide that.

  5. Didn't Woody Allen marry his adopted daughter?

  6. NMC, aren't you a lawyer? Is that really a serious question?

  7. Didn't Woody Allen marry his adopted daughter?

    Not exactly. He married the adopted daughter of his girlfriend Mia Farrow, but Farrow had adopted Soon-Yi while married to Andre Previn. Allen never adopted Soon-Yi Previn.

    Still registers on the ick scale, but a few rungs below adopting one's girlfriend.

  8. Anonymous, I'll let you and Anderson debate whether it can be a "good question" but not a "serious question." Or, alternatively, I'll ask you: Is that really a serious question?

  9. NMC, who are you asking? A lawyer?