Linking to the Onion as If You Didn't Read It Yourself

... a continuing series.

Sasha Obama Keeps Seeing Creepy Bush Twins While Riding Tricycle Through White House

As disturbing as her encounters have been, Sasha claimed that the sounds of incessant typing emanating from the Oval Office in recent days are what worry her the most.

"There's just something about this place--maybe it's the long hours spent isolated in the Oval Office--but it gets into a man's head and eventually becomes too much to bear," White House gardener Emery Canter said. "We don't like to talk about what happened around here with the last occupant. We just want to put those bad memories behind us."