Beep boop beep!

Sometimes Tyler Durden, or the blogger kinda named after him, sparkles:

Jayde Nicole issued a statement through a representative last night saying she was attacked from behind (editors note - *tee-hee*) Thursday night in a West Hollywood bar by ‘Girls Gone Wild’ founder Joe Francis, who then punched her, pulled her hair, threw her to the ground and kicked her. But that silver-tongued devil has an answer for everything.

Francis maintains Nicole poured a drink on him that night, and, in turning around, he may have grabbed her hair.
He told E! News Friday that, after security had helped him get outside, it was an unprovoked (Brody) Jenner who hit him in the face.

Well there you go. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve turned around and inadvertently pulled some woman to the ground by her hair. Because I’m a robot with magnetic snapping claws for hands, and women are made of metal. “Beep boop beep.” That was me calculating a complex task. Joe must be the same way. His explanation makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

Oh, absolutely.